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The Beautiful Family That Philippine Law Refuses to See
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May 15, 2025
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Ros Aldeguer and Twyla Rubin’s story is, above all, a celebration of love, commitment, and the family they’ve built together over more than a decade. But in the Philippines, where same-sex relationships are still denied legal recognition, their journey also highlights the everyday consequences of that exclusion. Despite their deep bond and shared life, the law treats them as legal strangers—offering no protection, rights, or acknowledgment of their partnership.
A Love Born in the Mountains
Aldeguer and Rubin’s story began in 2014, rooted in their shared passion for the outdoors. Both University of the Philippines Mountaineers members, Aldeguer and Rubin, met during a four-day trek in the mountain ranges of Bukidnon. What started as a shared love for adventure and exploration soon became more profound. Rubin recalls, “We slowly discovered that we didn’t just want to explore the outdoors together or drink together; we wanted to be together.”
More than 10 years later, their bond has only grown stronger. They have traveled 7,882.4 kilometers by bike across the Philippines and eight other countries. Their family includes four cats, one dog, and an 18-year-old nephew who affectionately calls them “Tita/s” (Auntie) but also refers to them as his parents. Beyond their immediate family, Aldeguer and Rubin are part of a vibrant community of outdoor enthusiasts and activists who are committed to building a more just and gender-equal society.
Challenges in a Heteronormative Society
Living in the Philippines, a predominantly Catholic country where patriarchal norms prevail, Aldeguer and Rubin have faced their share of challenges. Both come from devoutly religious families, and their relationship exists within a society that doesn’t legally recognize same-sex couples. “We never hid our relationship,” Rubin explains, “but we always felt like we had to come out all the time.” Whether introducing themselves as a couple at social gatherings or fielding probing questions about their “husbands” or “boyfriends” while biking, they constantly weigh the convenience of being open about their relationship.
When the couple decided to marry in their 10th year together, they were met with skepticism from their families. “They asked why bother with marriage when it’s not recognized in the Philippines,” Aldeguer shares. “For us, this indicated that despite having been together for 10 years, we weren’t seen as a ‘real’ couple in our parents’ minds.” This lack of recognition, both socially and legally, has been a recurring theme in their lives.
The Impact of Legal Non-Recognition
Aldeguer and Rubin married in Denmark. Their marriage holds no legal weight in the Philippines. This lack of legal recognition affects nearly every aspect of their lives. “We cannot decide for each other during medical emergencies, we do not get to inherit from each other, and the property regime that governs our relationship is the same as if we were strangers,” Rubin explains. To protect themselves, they have had to take extra-legal steps, such as drafting wills, executing special powers of attorney, and ensuring they are named beneficiaries on life insurance policies. The lack of freedom to marry is not just a symbolic issue—it is a concrete legal gap with daily consequences. Their experience mirrors that of countless same-sex couples across the country who, despite building stable families, remain invisible in the eyes of the law. These legal and social challenges accompany couples throughout their life journey, often compounding in old age.
Despite these hurdles, Aldeguer and Rubin remain steadfast in their commitment to each other and their family. “Even if the law, the government, and social institutions do not recognize us as a family and as a couple, it doesn’t mean we are not,” Aldeguer asserts. They draw strength from the activists and same-sex couples who have paved the way before them, and they continue to advocate for greater visibility and legal protections.
Celebrating Love, Advancing Equality
Aldeguer and Rubin believe in making their love and family visible. “Love is a right,” Rubin says, “and we believe in showing that our love is like any other love, and our family is like any other family.” Whether in their community, their outdoor adventures, or at Pride events, they actively create and advocate for safe and inclusive spaces for women, girls, and LGBTQ communities.
One of their most memorable moments as a family was during the 2023 Pride PH Festival, where they took the stage together to call for the urgent passage of a bill prohibiting discrimination based on sexual orientation, gender identity, gender expression, and sex characteristics. A video of their message was later shown during a Senate hearing, sparking a national debate. “It was a challenging moment,” Aldeguer recalls, “but we held our heads high, knowing we will always stand by our call for equality.”
A Call for Legal Change
In April 2024, a Filipino lawmaker renewed their efforts to pass a bill recognizing same-sex civil partnerships. While separate from the push for non-discrimination legislation, this proposed legislation is also critical, aiming to provide legal protection and rights to same-sex couples in areas such as inheritance, medical decision-making, and property relations. This renewed effort comes five years after the Philippine Supreme Court, in 2019, dismissed a petition seeking marriage equality, citing procedural grounds—but at the same time acknowledged the need for Congress to address the lack of legal protections for same-sex couples.
Aldeguer and Rubin dream of a future where their family—and all families—are recognized and protected under the law. “We dream of a country that protects all kinds of love and all kinds of families,” Rubin says.
Their story illustrates the need not only for social acceptance, but for legal reform. Legal recognition is what provides families with security, predictability, and protection in the moments that matter most. Until the law fully embraces the diversity of families in the Philippines, couples like Ros Aldeguer and Twyla Rubin will remain in legal limbo—forced to navigate a system that denies their existence while asking them to wait just a little longer for equality.
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